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Holy Fear

"But afterward Jesus found him in the Temple and told him, 'Now you are well; so stop sinning, or something even worse may happen to you.'" -John 5:14

Have you ever had a moment when you were really afraid of God? Not afraid as in being afraid of the dark... but knowing that God was not pleased with something you were involved in, and that it could put you in spiritual danger?

I had such a moment when I was 16. I had been really seeking God out and had gone to a series of New Age events in an effort to find something "real". Well, it was real alright - I didn't know it at the time, but in reality a lot of the "real" stuff I was feeling spiritually was God, but there were a lot of familiar spirits too. I learned later that this mixture was not healthy for my spiritual well-being, and I was going to have to cut the ties in order to become a pure vessel for God.

Once, we were doing a series of meditations. I was deep into the meditation when I saw something dark that looked like a mix between Ursula from the movie The Little Mermaid and the nemesis turtle from the Mario Brothers video game. It seemed like he was a warlock. He was trying to tell me something, but I was scared. I tried to run away. I had a difficult time getting out from the meditation. I began to cry and some of the leaders from the event tried to help me snap out of it. It felt very dark. It was then I felt I was in spiritual danger and I decided I would never go back to that place again.

After all of that, God spoke to me through a true prophet, and for the first time, I really felt the true presence of the Holy Spirit. It was unlike anything I had ever felt. This time I was going in the right direction. I am so glad that God used the fear I had felt before to bring me to a place of surrender. I didn't want to be in a place of spiritual danger.

Have you ever experienced a holy fear of the Lord?

Related resource: The Fear of God by John Bunyan 

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